“If you follow carefully
The flow of your energy
You will start to see
That you are a winner”
One spring day towards the end of 2004
Rhonda Byrne discovered a secret
only problem for me was that
I'd actually heard it all before
Then in 2005, I read the same thing telling me to “ask and it will be given” use my emotions as my guidance system The universe will always return a perfect vibration (no exceptions) “Follow your emotions everywhere is it really magic in the air? “
This has been the ongoing story of my life
but do you think it ever got me out of strife?
People telling me you gotta do this, you gotta do that
when all this stubborn Sagge wanted to do was turn her back ..
I was whack
Hell bent on doing things my own way
I didn't feel it was up to any one else to say
what was right in the world, and especially for me
I had my own ideas that resonated inside me
My poor Mother and teachers thought I was jesting
always acting precocious, and defiantly testing
their answers often falling short of satisfying my curiosity
I often wondered if we even shared the same reality
The incongruence's never escaping my mind,
the explanations they gave me were for the blind
“Could it be a picture in my mind? Never sure exactly what I'll find.”
I did find, that Music gave much inspiration, I saw the light through listening to my fellow Sagge brother, Maurice white he unwittingly mentored me with his lyrics and great insight 30 years ago he had sung about concepts, that were coming back to life
I also read many other books to help me along
problem was, they all just reiterated the same old song..
hey...it's not that they were wrong
It's just that I needed answers to questions that were already too far gone
Eventually...
I reached a point of going on a downward spiral
my thoughts and emotions were erratic and viral
I had to get away from every day folk
to make sense of the myriad of things running through my dome
seriously... It was wasn't a joke
I could no longer tell the difference between truth and insanity
What was my imagination and what was reality?
television and newspapers only added to the travesty
nothing but bullshit scenarios, scare tactics and negativity
I needed something solid that I could hold on to
oh, the things that went through my brain, if you only knew
it's just that, to me, my thoughts were crystal clear, they made perfect sense
so why was it that I couldn't find anyone else who had jumped the same fence
"Could it be that it's just an illusion putting me back in all this confusion"? When you begin to realise that no one else is able to see let alone understand the same things that you feel you question yourself...staying quiet becomes part of the deal ...you simply stop being who you were meant to be Scared that others will think you are lost Oh yeah, they'll even tell you you're losing the plot “hey girl, you really do need to stop smoking all that home grown hydroponic pot” "it's the worst type of loneliness the loneliness of being misunderstood or more poignantly the loneliness of being afraid to allow myself to be understood" It took me years... But you know, I came to realize something very deep And that is, FINALLY...the rest of humanity was catching up with ME All those outlandish theories I once conceived had now become well documented, popular theory Can you believe?! Scientists, Theologists, Philosophers galore have been sampling my ideas (like a Jazzie B score) it's just that, many years ago if you were positioned on the offside you'd end up being discredited , ostracized or institutionalized There really is a fine line between genius and madness... believe me I know it's just that, how far are we willing to stick out our necks, how far are we willing to go?
"the personal revolution
is far more difficult than the first step in any revolution"
To stand in the face of what we are being fed (yes, our daily bread) that which once sustained us, is now full of worms and holes and vibrating coils of self conciousness reaching into another time, and another place our global collective archetypal dream scapes "Only in my dreams I turn you on here for just a moment, then you're gone"... constructing realities within realities fractally some say factually but actually "hypocrisy is the greatest luxury"
IN CONCLUSION... It's up to each and every one of us to find our own personal state of Chillumination The universe doesn't judge the difference between good or bad right or wrong truth or insanity dreams or reality illusions or convolutions it simply responds to our every whim so"If ever I was to stop thinking about music and poetry I would tell you that
Music is the expression of emotion and that Poetry is a window to the soul"
(c) Teresa/Divinia/MissTee April 2011
credits and inspirations - my teachers
Earth Wind and Fire - You are a winner from the Album RAISE (1981)
imagination – It's just an illusion 1982
Disposable Hero's of Hiphopricy – MUSIC AND POLITICS 1992
and the two books I mention:
THE SECRET – By Rhonda Byrne
ASK AND IT IS GIVEN – By Esther and Jerry Hicks
Wonderful write, Teresa. You are very wise and creative, friend.
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